"How about some cereal with that sugar?"
"Get that hair out of your eyes!"
"I don't care what the kids tell you at school, hair hanging in your eyes does not make you look cool."
"You can't live off Oreos alone dude."
"I'm putting you on notice, if things don't change I'm homeschooling you next year."
"Homeschooling is not a prison sentence for kids. It's an educational choice for concerned parents everywhere!"
"Keep it up with that attitude and you'll find out what prison really is!"
"Tie your shoe laces, you'll trip and hurt yourself."
"Seriously, how old are you? How many times do I have to tell you not to chase your sibling around with scissors?"
"Do NOT MAKE ME CALL YOUR FATHER!"
"If you miss that school bus, I'm going to make you walk to school."
"Don't sit so close to the television. You'll go blind."
"Enough with the video games. You'll rot your brain."
"Don't forget to bring your homework home!!!"
Excuse me now, while I go hunting for my cool factor. I seem to have lost it when I found my middle age.