Pass the Puns, Please

It is amazing how the quiet dripping of the coffee maker can seem so loud when a person is hung over. Also amazing is how quickly a person tosses back a few alcoholic beverages with little thought to the consequences of her actions.

Like how early her children would rise. And want pancakes for breakfast. Or how her head would feel like it will burst like a cheap balloon at the slightest noise louder than the sigh of a baby fly. Or, better yet, how her brother- in-law would phone first thing in the morning and she would find herself, along with her hubby, pushing his dilapidated van out of the bog hole he drove it into while trying to bury the family dog that had died, in our north pasture. (Picture me, bleary eyed and cranky, cussing a blue streak while being yelled at by both men, to push harder. Like I was in labour or something. Bastards.)

Yep, dear internet, those drinks were certainly worth it. Because (besides all evidence to prove otherwise) this Mommy had a great time last night shaking her booty with her girlfriends.

So it is with great pleasure that I pass onto you, yet another cheesy pun.

Now I'm off to shower to get rid of the damn mud that splattered all over me and find me some aspirin....

Two painters, one an old man and the other a youngster, were painting a very large home. It was getting late in the day when they reached the second floor.

There ahead of them was a very long corridor. The older painter said, "I've had enough for one day. I quit. How about you?"

With that, the younger painter headed toward the corridor and said, "Not me. I'm in this for the long hall."