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Someone's In the Doghouse...I just Can't Decide Who

I'm having a problem now that my darling hubs is back home where he belongs. I am suffering from terrible fits of anxiety and occasional bouts of jealousy. I am worried my darling has forsaken me. My darling Nixon, that is. Little traitor. I spend four weeks wiping up his pee, picking up his poop, refilling his water bowl and scratching his belly, all for him to trade me in for a larger, hairier, human.

Granted, the hubs is not to keen on the furball. But I'm beginning to think his gruff aloofness towards the pooch is all a rouse. I would swear on my dear angel boy's soul that I heard the distinct murmuring of "Good boy," and "Who's your Daddy?" last night when I left the living room.

And I find it peculiar that the man who, for years, refused to get up in the morning, no matter how many times the alarm clock rang or how many jabs in the ribs he endured, is now the first one up out of bed. He claims it is because he doesn't want to have to clean up puppy poop, but I'm starting to think otherwise. Perhaps it is because he enjoys little Nixon's exuberant greetings after a long night in the kennel.

What really worries me is this morning, my hubs was sitting on the bed when I noticed him patting it, and telling me to come on and hurry up.

Stupid me, here I thought the hubs wanted a quicky, to get the blood pumping. Not entirely averse to the idea, I respond.

Turns out he was talking to my dog, trying to get him to jump on the bed.

Apparently a quick round of tug-o-war is more stimulating than a roll in the sheets with his willing wife.

Like I said. I'm suffering from terrible fits of anxiety and occasional bouts of jealousy...
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Reader Comments (65)

LMAO! I find my husband talking to Daisy all the time - the dog he SWORE he'd have nothing to do with.

June 23, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

Aw, on one hand it's cute that your hubs has taken to the dog. On the other hand...who wants to play second fiddle to a pooch? I bet you look better in lingerie than the dog does, though, so I'm anticipating this phase won't last long. ;^)

June 23, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterB.E.C.K.

Awwww what a cute puppy. I love/hate my sis and my dog. WE live together and share her. My sis babies that damn dog too much, and now that I have a kitten, It just get's crazy. But at least the babies get along great (cat and dog). The kitten is at her dad's house while my sis and I move. So Chassis is all by herself, and she is loving the attention from both mommies.

June 23, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSoftball Slut

LOL, LOL, LOL...I love this! And Nixob really does kind of look like Nixon, doesn't he? Your hubby is a real pushover for that dog, and Bixon knows it. Just look at the look on his face in that photograph! HA!

My husband is the same way! HATES the cats and yet, he's the one who buys all the toys and treats and taught one to sit on his shoulder when he walks...

keep puppy treats in your pocket, he'll always come to you first that way!

June 23, 2006 | Unregistered Commenter~*~ D ~*~

How can you blame him, that dog is adorable. I wish my husband felt the same way about our dog. Once upon a time it was his dog, he picked her out. Now, all of sudden she's mine and he hates her. Come check out my new http://lollipopmom.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">site

June 23, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJ's Mommy

Sadly, after 20yrs, we both sit in bed and talk to the cats.......

We get home....and greet the cats...

We walk about the house....and talk to the cats.....

It's a Rite of Passage, I think!


June 23, 2006 | Unregistered Commentercraziequeen

... I don't know, sniff the hubby's ass when he walks through the door. Spin around 40 times before you lie down when you get into bed. Hump a berber blanket.

There're solutions, mama!

June 23, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterOh My Lot!

I don't know that is one adorable pup...I'd have to kick the honey outta bed to snuggle up on that one too I'm afraid.

Crap he's cute.

June 24, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterkimmyk

You're too funny! The pup is adorable. I'm with Kimmyk, I'd be tempted to cuddle with Nixon if I were getting a cold shoulder from the hubbers.

June 24, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterStepherz

Been there, still doing it. Can't compete with the cute dog. THe sooner you realize that, the better your marriage will be.

June 24, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMom101

I couldn't compete with our dog either...best not to even try.

June 24, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAbandoned in Pasadena

Aww, but with such a cute dog, who could resist? ;)

June 25, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSuburban Turmoil

methinks hubs is getting you back for all those skanky ho comments!!

June 25, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMy float

my hubs is a sucker for the pouch as well... i don't even try and compet... just wait till he hungry and then ask who he loves more *snicker*

June 25, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterwolfbaby

Okay, if your husband wasn't totally and completely in love with that dog, who is the cutest thing EVER, then there would be somthing wrong with him. Hubz, not the dog.

He can jump on the bed? The dog? Or are you going to buy those pet stairs they sell on TV? Those things rock.

June 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMrsFortune

World domination begins with overpowering the men. Nixon knows this.

June 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterHer Bad Mother

LMFAO! too cute!

June 27, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterjennster

You'll have to kindly excuse my husband's comment, above. He shouldn't be discussing his own behavior in the bedroom...

June 28, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterIt's okay, Sweetie

Ack! Youve been replaced by something that eats less and poops outside (well in theory).... if that dog learns to vaccum, your position might be completely usurped

June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterFidget

Our darling kitten was nearly hated by my husband who had hissed, "Do not bring that cat home," as I happily bought the litter pan and food before driving to the country to pick up a teeny white poofball we named Ivan. My husband barely talked to the kitten, didn't want him on the bed, and wanted nothing to do with him.

The cat? Loves my husband. Bites me.

My husband? Loves Ivan, calls him his baby, holds him and pets him, and caters to his every need.

June 30, 2006 | Unregistered Commentermelissa

Are you still there? I got worried, it's eben so many days since your last post.

Yeah, where are you, mama?

July 3, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMrsFortune

Joining in the worried brigade

July 5, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterGette

I was thinking the same thing.......where is Redneck Mommy!?

July 5, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterGreat Dane Addict

Love this! Perhaps you should wag your tail at hubs?

July 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJunebugg

Everything okay?

July 6, 2006 | Unregistered Commentermamatulip

Where ya at?? Hope your ok....

come update as soon as ya can ok?

July 6, 2006 | Unregistered Commenter~*~ D ~*~

Ahhh yes, that's the silent oath of all animals...
Pick the human that dislikes you the most (for no good reason!) and make it your mission to convert them.
The force is with you Little Nixon.

i hope you are ok, I miss you!

July 10, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterFidget

Ummmm... excuse Ms Redneck?
Where the hell are ya?
Hope all is well.
Get your ass back here.

July 10, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

I miss you too and hope all is well.

July 10, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAbandoned in Pasadena

Where, oh where are you?

I really hope all is well. I feel a little worried.

July 10, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterjess

If I chime in, too, will that help our plea reach critical mass? Come back!

July 11, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterB.E.C.K.

Hey T.

Hope you're just enjoying summer so much you don't have time to blog. But opo in and let us know you're okay, k?

July 11, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterIzzy

Oops, I meant POP in...

July 11, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterIzzy

I miss reading your wonderful humor and I'm hoping that you are just vacationing with jellyhead, since she is in Canada vacationing with her family & friends.

July 13, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAbandoned in Pasadena

Is everytning okay, dear "T"? Gee I hope so...you haven't been posting for quite a long time....! You are missed by many, including me, my dear...
I hope all is well and that you will be back soon! Hugs To You!

Are you working is that what it is?

Are you playing with that adorable puppy?

Could you be working in the back 40 and haven't found your way back to your computer?

Did you go to get another piercing / tattoo and run off with the dude and are now in the sideshow circus?

Enquiring minds dear Miss T.

July 14, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterkimmyk

Where is you...?

July 15, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterThumper

seriously we are all worriedpgtmynly

July 17, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterFidget

Longtime reader - My first post ever is joining the voices in wondering where you are. I also hope everything is ok. Bloglines isn't the same without you.

July 18, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMeredith

I hope your absence means at least one of the following:

1) You're on a fabulous vacation filled with hot sex and fun times with the fam
2) You have a new book deal and no longer have time to write on your blog.
3) The theraputic benefits of this blog have run their course, and you no longer need us.

Forget all that. You were my favorite blog to read every day, I will never forgive you if you just desert us. Come back!!

July 19, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterOld MD Girl

I have been checking back to see if there is a new post. Nope there is not! Like everyone else, I'm worried something might be wrong, but hoping you are just to busy to write since it is summer. Please let us know all is well. My thoughts & prayers to you& your family.
You are one funny Redneck Mommy!

July 19, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterCrazedmomof4

Delurking to join in the worrying.

July 20, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I'm getting really worried now because you left so suddenly without warning...I could understand your absence if you were on vacation, but I'm worried that maybe you have gone into some kind of deep depression.

I pray that you are okay and that you are just way tooo busy having fun with your husband, kids & Nixon this summer. I'll be back to check on you again.

Bear Hugs to a good friend,

July 21, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAbandoned in Pasadena

I miss you, T. Hope to read you soon.

July 23, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterBinky

T...it has been over a month since your last post. You are a gifted writer and posted on a regular basis...you also took it upon yourself to notify your readers of possible absences in the past, so this is why I have become very concerned. Please know that I'm thinking about you and I miss you.

Sandy :(

July 24, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAbandoned in Pasadena

I miss you and I really hope that you are ok! We are all worried about you, I hope you are safe.


July 26, 2006 | Unregistered Commenter~*~ D ~*~

Where'd you go?

July 31, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterL-Girl

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