Call me Two Face

Let me just start with this: I love my husband. Obviously. I married him, remain married to him for over 14 years and mothered all four of his children happily and willing. I've let the man seen me naked more than once. I even play nice with his family. (For the most part.)

Love is not the issue.

We've got love.

But there is also something unspoken between the two of us.


That's right. I'm a wee jealous of my husband.

There are a hundred little reasons, both real and imagined, but yes, I'm standing before you, admitting the shameful fact that I am, indeed, jealous of my lovely Boo.

The biggest reason that I'm jealous of my husband? He has all of his teeth and as of Monday, I'll be out one cracked rear molar. It's all down hill from here. I'm clearly on the path from calling myself a Redneck Mommy to actually embodying it. It all starts with losing one tooth until it ends with me toothless, offering gummers to hairy overweight truckers in a Walmart parking lot.

I'm also jealous that my husband does not currently look like this, nor does he have to see me looking like this:

Why yes that is me, first thing in the morning, with bed head, no makeup and a face full of alien baby. Sexy.

I can't escape myself. Every time I walk past a mirror, I crack up laughing and then start to cry. Because WHAT IF MY FACE STAYS THIS WAY FOREVER??

(For those concerned for my medical well being, I am under the care of well-trained professionals who plan on yanking the tooth in a few days after the swelling goes down. It's all under control. Except for that giant sac of pus threatening to swallow my face whole. Carry on. I know I am.)

So yes, I'm a wee jealous of my husband.

To hear some of the other, non-dental-related reasons, watch my Momversation video.

And then tell me if you are ever jealous of your significant other, or if I'm clearly on crack and need therapy.

Also, feel free to mock my face. Literally.

You can just call me Two Face. I'll flip a coin to decide your fate later.