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Wednesday
Dec152010

It's That Time of The Year: Where I Make Your Ears Bleed

Two years ago, I made a horrible mistake.

I agreed to participate in an online holiday Christmas concert. Because I am a dope. Nothing says Merry Christmas like subjecting your readers to an out of tune carol which slowly causes your ears to seep.

If that wasn't bad enough, I participated again last year. This time, I went solo style, and I tried valiantly to hide the fact I was off key and horrible by wearing a ridiculously low cut blouse. The men folk thanked me while the women folk ran for kleenex to staunch the flow of blood seeping from their ears.

Just when I thought I had retired my Santa hat, Neil banged on my door and insisted I once more don it for his amusement. Because he is a bit of a prick like that, and takes extreme pleasure in watching me publicly humiliate myself.

So I'm back at it, caroling for all my might, singing a ridiculous song with my children all in the name of blogger community and self flagellation.



Sadly, there is no low cut blouse for the boys this year but to make up for that fact, my children went wild and decided to go all Fight Club while the tape was rolling. And because I believe in keeping things real, I refused to edit it out or use the one nice take we did manage to pull off while trying to record our song. I'm pulling back the curtains and letting you all peek into my family's madness.

All while making your ears seep from sadness.

It's my Christmas gift to all of you.

So you should go over and check out the festivities because not only am I singing but a ton of other bloggers are too. Some of which actually can sing. And some, like me, who should never ever open their mouths to do anything other than breath and whisper softly.

I kept the video short, 90 odd seconds so this isn't a great time investment but trust me, it will haunt you forever. The harmonics alone will bring nightmares to small children. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Everyone loves a good train wreck so this is a must watch. Think of the holiday cheer it will bring to your life.

Be sure to leave a comment so everyone knows you watched them in their moment of holiday humiliation. It really is the best way to spead the magic of the moment.

Snort.

Happy Christmas time yo. *Cackles gleefully*

*****

In other news, I'd like to thank Flying Start Magazine for featuring Attack of the Redneck Mommy in their fall/winter issue. It was a lot of fun to do and it's always really neat to see your face in print. If you'd like to read the article (and you know you do) click here and just flip through the online version of the magazine until you see my face. My mom is still annoyed at me for using that picture.

And since we're talking magazines, you should pick up a January issue of Today's Parent Magazine. Because they wrote about me too. Big thanks to everyone over at TP.

Now, go get your jingle on.
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Reader Comments (22)

You guys are too funny! And yes the attempt at harmony is uhm....lovely! I also love how Frac is at that age where his voice allows him to be an alto and a tenor in the same song!

Merry Christmas my Friend!!

MUAH!

Natasha~

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNatasha

LOL! Your daughter was really getting into it! hahaha Love it, Tanis!

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSammy

LOVE IT!!! Thanks for sharing, Merry Christmas to all!!

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

Is it wrong that I got amused by your Canadian accents? LOL Long time lurker, LOVE your blog (you've been on my blog roll for AGES)

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

De-lurking in the Holiday spirit..
Merry Christmas from High River!

You all look great, and that wasn't TOO humiliating. Thank you for sharing.

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKrista

In comparison to everyone else, you guys are totally awesome and definately keeping it real. Your vocals arent bad either!

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tanis Miller, Tanis Miller. Tanis Miller said: New post up. Oh the things I do for you all. I'm like your very own dancing puppet. Go read. And laugh. http://bit.ly/hxFHLB [...]

Aww, I sincerely loved that. Fric's little noise at the end made me laugh.

Thanks for singing - and sharing. Merry Christmas to all of you!

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSassyO

you totally rocked it! Merry Christmas from my family to yours!!!!!!

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkathy

Awwhhh.....you guys are so cute!! (my teen boy would NEVER have done that!)

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendi

That was highly entertaining, so funny. You are all so good looking!!! Mery Christmas to you all, have a good one.

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJ from Ireland

That was fun!!! I liked it.

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie I

You're not that bad at all. You totally smoke me in the singing dept. I get so nervous I nearly pass out and no sound at all will come out of my mouth. It was cute and I loved it.

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTanahmera

Your kids are so %$#@%$.

With you as a role model, they have no where to go but UP!

December 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlarrylilly

where can I get a cd?!? :) u guys are AWESOME!

December 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter1_CRAZY_mama

Loved it!! Your daughter is gorgeous!! She looks just like you! Thanks for sharing!

December 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

My 3-year-old daughter found this totally amusing. You have made her day. Speaking of daughters, yours is turning into a gorgeous little woman!

December 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Ha! You guys are sweet. My son & I enjoyed watching that.

December 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJosefina

Im with Wendi here, no way my teenagers would have been in on anything like that!
Loved it and you hold a tune quite well! :)
Merry Christmas from hot and sunny Australia!

December 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbad_girl

I think I can speak for all of us when I say thank you for making us laugh time and time again.

December 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Needs improvement, yes. But not that bad. Looks extremely fun. Maybe practice more on 2011 for next year's show down!

December 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristina

OMG, that's was freakin' awesome. btw, by 3 yr old is now in love with your daughter. :D

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrandi Cortes

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