It's That Time of The Year: Where I Make Your Ears Bleed

Two years ago, I made a horrible mistake.

I agreed to participate in an online holiday Christmas concert. Because I am a dope. Nothing says Merry Christmas like subjecting your readers to an out of tune carol which slowly causes your ears to seep.

If that wasn't bad enough, I participated again last year. This time, I went solo style, and I tried valiantly to hide the fact I was off key and horrible by wearing a ridiculously low cut blouse. The men folk thanked me while the women folk ran for kleenex to staunch the flow of blood seeping from their ears.

Just when I thought I had retired my Santa hat, Neil banged on my door and insisted I once more don it for his amusement. Because he is a bit of a prick like that, and takes extreme pleasure in watching me publicly humiliate myself.

So I'm back at it, caroling for all my might, singing a ridiculous song with my children all in the name of blogger community and self flagellation.

Sadly, there is no low cut blouse for the boys this year but to make up for that fact, my children went wild and decided to go all Fight Club while the tape was rolling. And because I believe in keeping things real, I refused to edit it out or use the one nice take we did manage to pull off while trying to record our song. I'm pulling back the curtains and letting you all peek into my family's madness.

All while making your ears seep from sadness.

It's my Christmas gift to all of you.

So you should go over and check out the festivities because not only am I singing but a ton of other bloggers are too. Some of which actually can sing. And some, like me, who should never ever open their mouths to do anything other than breath and whisper softly.

I kept the video short, 90 odd seconds so this isn't a great time investment but trust me, it will haunt you forever. The harmonics alone will bring nightmares to small children. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Everyone loves a good train wreck so this is a must watch. Think of the holiday cheer it will bring to your life.

Be sure to leave a comment so everyone knows you watched them in their moment of holiday humiliation. It really is the best way to spead the magic of the moment.


Happy Christmas time yo. *Cackles gleefully*


In other news, I'd like to thank Flying Start Magazine for featuring Attack of the Redneck Mommy in their fall/winter issue. It was a lot of fun to do and it's always really neat to see your face in print. If you'd like to read the article (and you know you do) click here and just flip through the online version of the magazine until you see my face. My mom is still annoyed at me for using that picture.

And since we're talking magazines, you should pick up a January issue of Today's Parent Magazine. Because they wrote about me too. Big thanks to everyone over at TP.

Now, go get your jingle on.