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How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways...

Yesterday was my husband and my 12th wedding anniversary.

Twelve years ago yesterday afternoon, I stood beside Boo and promised to love him forever.

I did not, however, promise to obey him. Why start out the marriage with a blatant lie? The only thing I obey is traffic laws and that's iffy at best.

It's hard to believe the two of us have managed to kill celebrate twelve successful years of married life. Especially when one takes into account I couldn't stand the man when he was six year old, wearing a brown and orange horizontal striped shirt and begging to take me out for a horse back ride.

Harder still to believe I haven't killed him yet. Especially since I've been known to hurl hammers at his head from time to time. The man has quick reflexes.

This morning, the first morning of our thirteenth year of marriage, I am rather dazzled by the fact the same man has loved me for all of this time. Still loves me and still can make me laugh like no other and make my heart thump in my chest.

I am a lucky gal, yo.

So for today, for just this once, I'm breaking my husband's rule of not plastering his face on the internet and letting you into our lives together as the Redneck Marital Unit.

I told you, I never was any good at the whole 'obeying' thing.

(14 weeks pregnant with Frac. I am KLASSEE.)

I love you for knocking me up with back to back pregnancies. Every woman should know the joys of trying to breastfeed a four month old baby while fighting off morning sickness. Since I have no recollection of ever getting romantic with you after our daughter's birth I'm totally blaming you for our son's conception. You may deny it to this day still, but I totally believe you had sex with me while I was sleeping. I would never be dumb enough to get pregnant that quickly. 


Boo with Bug at the hospital.

I love you for the way you are with our children. The way you chase them around the house while making monster sounds or how you give them whisker rubs until they beg for mercy. I love you for the way you teach them to be independent adults, even if that means making them stand outside in the pouring rain with you as they each change a tire and it's brake pads. I love you for all the nights you held our crying babies in the crook of your arm and rocked them until they fell asleep so that I wouldn't loose my mind. I love you for the way you supported and fought with me to expand our family and bring Jumby home.

I especially love the way I just have to threaten to call you and suddenly our children morph from three horned devil children into obedient little angels.

You should know that no matter how many times you tell me you are just resting your eyes, I know you are napping on the job. The snoring gives it away. Sorry dude.

I love you for always having my back and not being scared to beat anyone who looks sideways at me.

Even if that means sitting on them and tickling them until they pee.

You are my pitbull, baby. I like it when you show me your teeth. Rawr.

I love you for all the spiders you have squished and snakes you have held. Because this just means I don't have to have anything to do with them other than grab my camera.

I am a pansy and you like me that way.

I love you for always busting your butt to make sure things get done around here. Even if that means redoing them twice because I didn't like how it turned out the first time. Even if it means that I distract you just as you are swinging a rubber mallet and end up completely shattering your middle finger. 

I still feel bad about that. But in my defense, you really should watch what you are doing when swinging tools around.

I love that when I have a problem that I can't (or more accurately: won't) fix you always man up and take care of things for me. Even if that means having to crawl underneath our deck to remove a very large wasps nest because I am scared of being stung. 

It warms the cockles of my heart to know you will willingly take a stinger for me. 

I love you for your willingness to chase wildlife around our yard just to get a photo for my blog. You didn't grumble (much) when a family of geese honked under our bedroom window one Sunday morning and interrupted our marital mattress dancing session. You didn't even grumble (much) when I pushed you out of bed and tossed you the camera and made you scramble into some pants so that I could get a picture of the goslings to show the kids.

Your willingness to delay personal gratification for your wife's whims makes me want to get bendy with you.

I love you for all the times you have taken over kitchen duty so I wouldn't have to. 

And I love you even more for never slapping my hand as I sneak a fresh slice of meat before dinner is served and lecture me about ruining my dinner. Or at least I would if you would stop that shit.

I love you for thinking I'm beautiful even when I look like this. Or when I'm wearing grubby jeans and digging in the garden. And I thank you for all the times you have overlooked my hairy legs.

Nothing says true love like offering to braid your wife's leg hairs for her.

I love you for loving me even when I drink orange juice straight out of the carton or whipped cream from the can. 

I will love you even more if you would stop putting empty milk jugs back into the fridge though.

Just sayin'.

I love you for putting up with all my twattiness, craziness, quirks and foibles for the past twelve years of marriage and even more time before that. I love you for the strength you have given our family and the love you continually shower us all with.

I love you for always coming back home with a smile, a bag of dirty laundry and a waggle in your eyebrows.

But the reason I really, really love you:

You are a very talented man.

Wink, wink.

Thanks for marrying me. I'm a very lucky lady.

(Waggles eyebrows.)
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Reader Comments (98)

And *this* is why I love YOU.

That is the sweetest and funniest, most romantic and yet hilarious post ever. Congrats on your success! XOXO

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterUndomestic Diva

Happy Anniversary Tanis and Boo ;-)
The pics are fantastic and it's obvious why you love him and he, you.

Awww, so sweet. And that first picture? You were so young and vivacious looking and hot (even knocked up)! What happened?

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAvitable

awwww. i love that wedding shot, btw. you look stunned. might be all the breeding. stunned, but happy. a happy REDHEAD. interesting. smooch.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermimi

Beautiful post. I hope to find me one of those one day! :)

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterali

Awwww. Happy anniversary!

In four more years, Josh and I will be right here. CRAZY.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKyla

Happy Belated Anniversary you two!

Wow, I hope after 12 years of marriage I will be able to write about my husband like did yours. It is obvious how you are still very much in love with your husband.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBobbi Janay

Tee hee!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Fabulous post ... you complement each other. Love the wedding pic, by the way. Congrats to a helluva couple. May you post tributes like this for many more years!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwordnerd

Your wedding picture looks like it should be your senior prom! Though, I suppose I looked like a baby too! Congrats and happy anniversary!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpgoodness

You guys are pretty cute together, I must admit.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Grace

Ahhh .. That was really sweet!!! That is awesome ya'll have made it to 12 years. I hope you have many many more!!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Ahhh .. That was really sweet!!! That is awesome ya'll have made it to 12 years. I hope you have many many more!! Happy Anniversary!!! And a late Happy Mother's Day!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

God, I love you. And him, too, for having the exceptional good sense to do so awesomely right by you.

You can tell him I said that, too.


(PS: this year will be YEAR THIRTEEN for us. 13. They don't even let hotels have 13th floors. GAH.)

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHer Bad Mother

Also, dude: for some inexplicable reason I also posted a wedding photo today. My hair is not red in that photo. And it's not my anniversary today. Make of that what you will. I think that it means that our souls are in harmony, but our hair is not.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHer Bad Mother

I keep cracking up at the combination of the electric carving knife, the look on his face - and then you in the rollers. Love, sweet love.

(Is it me or does hubs look kinda emasculated? What, he needs vibrating power to be added to his carving prowess? I'm giggling but am thinking now I'm a black mark on your efforts to reveal your husband against his will. Let me regroup. He's a total looker.)

(Even though he requires electrification.)

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersweetsalty kate

A great collection of images & memories. I especially like the wedding photo (although I know better than to ask if the white dress was ironic) and the segue from the photo of geese to one of Boo cutting through what looks like a... um... goose.


May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwoBusy

Awwwwww... happy anniversary!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Happy anniversary, sounds like you both found a keeper!

(and that tongue, my goodness!)

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSticky

Happy Anniversary, you two!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAssertagirl

So you put out for him without making him beg last night, right?

Happy A, Tanis and Boo.

Happy Anniversary!!! Great post!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJill

Congrats! You so sound like a very lucky lady indeed!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWickedStepmom

Happy anniversary! No wonder you two make such beautiful babies.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkgirl

i can do that with my tongue too.
i'm just saying.


happy anniversary!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterali

GIRRRRL, that man is fiiiiine.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjennielynn

AWW that was so sweet! =D Congratz on your anniversary!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSilvana

This made my day. Aww's and giggles abound.

Also, it's good to know that my husband is not the only one who snores when "awake." *evil eye*

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDella

Well done, ya'll. Is it acceptable to use "ya'll" to refer to only two people, or does "ya'll" assume at least a threesome? I guess the stuff about the threesome probably doesn't belong in the anniversary post, anyway.

Anyway, thanks for sharing.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbadassdad05

Hey, I can touch my tongue to my nose too. My husband just rolls his eyes when I break that an the other tongue thing out as a party trick. And I think my second child (17 months younger than her brother) was the result of me being taken advantage of while sleeping as well. Hubby denies it though while whining about me hurting his feelings about not being memorable and all that.

Love paean to you marriage. :-)

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

Happy Anniversary. Awesome post.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Aww <3. Happy Anniversary!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Happy Anniversary! Many, many more!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterellieranc

Awww, very sweet. Happy Anniversary to you both :)

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Social Frog


You two are adorable.

You guys are adorable! What a great post. And Boo is what, eleventy feet tall? Not sure why I'm just noticing this. Late to the party.

Happy Anniversary!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPocklock

That's awesome. Congratulations.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Awwww...I wouldn't throw him outta bed for eating crackers either. And you KNOW how I am about blonds, so for him to make the cut anyway speaks volumes. Before he gets a fat head about that, make sure and tell him it was the picture of him holding baby Bug that done it, not that OTHER one. Ahem. PERVERT.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMFA Mama

Happy Anniversary and congrats on 12 years!!!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmazing Greis

Happy Anniversary, Tanis and Boo! You both are lucky that you found each other. Thanks for unmasking your gorgeous man for us.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlena

Happy Anniversary crazy girl! Here's to many more years together and waggly eyebrows. >:)

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I truly believe the measure of a good man is how well he can take having his wife have more leg hair than him.

BTW- When I was 7 months pregnant and laying in the hospital (and couldnt see my lady bits and the jungle zone)... my husband shaved me. That's love.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaya

If that ain't love...I don't know what is!

Happy Day to the both of you.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do. ;)

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

Ye gods and little fishes! That man of yours is gorgeous.
Happy anniversary to you both. You are both awesome people.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDianne

that was sweet. I hope I find one of those one day.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSMurF

Congrats Tanis and Boo! Your post made my day! Glad you are back, glad you made it 12 yrs, glad he is your night in shining armor! After 18 yrs with my "Chaby," he will still hold my hair back as I praise the porcelain god, smile eventhough I have not shaved my legs for the ENTIRE winter and he's not afraid to talk baby talk to our 15 lb ball of fur kitty cat! God I love being married!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Happy Anniversary. You two are perfect together.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I love you, too, Boo. Because you let me talk to your wife all the time. And you only grumble mildly when I call. Which is all the fucking time.

Happy anniversary, kiddos.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMr Lady

Awww.... this was quite possibly the best marital tribute post I've ever read.

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkris

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