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Monday
Mar022009

A Brain is a Terrible Thing to Waste

I had an entire post planned today about life with Jumby and how mind trippingly amazing it is to be the mother to this marvelous little boy.


I was, in short, going to bust out the ole mommy for the mommy blog and pen an ode to parenthood and children with disabilities and how the world will one day be a miraculous place when my little Jumby takes his deserved crown and sits on his throne and reigns supreme as Global Overlord and World leader.


Then I was sidetracked. Apparently, I have the attention span of a two year old on crack. My sentimental train of thought crashed through the guard rails, dove off a cliff and exploded in a rather spectacular imaginary bang of fireworks and flames.


Apparently I may have watched way too many episodes of the original Knight Rider as a child.


With my loving and thoughtful post swirling the drain, I am forced to write about what initially caused the train to jump rails in the first place.


(And I'm not talking about the dirty direct messages and clever tweets my twitter friends use regularly in an effort to waste my life force and preempt any lame blog posts I may have planned.


They are a wily lot my tweeples.)


As I was drinking my coffee and crafting the words to make up my next parental ode, I clicked a link and then another (I think we may have established I am easily distracted) until I stumbled onto this:



Pork Brains: Grey Matter from the Other White meat


There are just no words.


All I can say is thank ALL THAT IS GOOD AND SPARKLY IN THE UNIVERSE that my father did not have access to this product as I grew up.


Spam never looked so good.


Even if my father did cut it up and put it in my mac and cheese.


Things can always get worse. It could have been processed brains.


(But oh, how I wish I could get a hold of a can of this just to FREAK my children out. Imagine the horror. Bwhahaha.)

« Dear Internet: I'm Placing You on Notice | Main | I'm a Supa-Staar »

Reader Comments (116)

You're a cruel, cruel woman. I love it ... haha.

Great to hear Jumby is doing well!

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermommyknows

Nasty. Pork Brains in Milk Gravy? How can people eat that shit? Everyone knows that Pork Brains are best served in aspic.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason

My stomach lurched.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwitchypoo

As I read this Moo came in and asked if I would like her to make me something to eat.

Yeah. No. Now.

*vomit*

And Boo is going to be the ruler of the world. Jumby can sit by his side. Boo has the movie planned already. ;)

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelley

Dude, Spam ROCKS. Pork brains , no thank you.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelleSG

Spam, spam, spam, spam.

:)

Totally gnarly, dude...

I think you've given me nightmares. I can't believe that there is such a product. I must go and read about daisies and lollipops now to feel clean again.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

In milk gravy, no less. (shudder)

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer H

DEAR GOD.

I think that is the sickest thing I have ever seen. (Including an autographed head shot of David Hasselhoff in a speedo).

I have massive ADD right now. This pregnancy is fucking with my head. I won't be surprised if I leave something vital behind, like my boobs, when I'm at BlogHer.

Sigh.

xoxoxox

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLoralee

Eugh and to think I thought the time my mom made me eat liver was bad..

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkaren

My mum used to MAKE me eat brains. She and my sister loved them, and I simply could not get them past my throat without throwing up. Mom would make me sit at the table for hours. And hours. To try and get me to eat those disgusting things. She used to serve it with ketchup. When I read about the milk gravy? I got a little bit nauseated...ugh.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Lawrence

Where did you find that? I NEED SOME. That could come in handy for so many occasions. I especially like the idea of threatening our children with it.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatasha

And geez-- this is 2009. Does this company not make big brains in a nice Thai peanut sauce? Or maybe vanilla lavender would be more flattering to its delicate composition?

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatasha

I don't understand what all the fuss is about..looks pretty damn good to me. People don't understand that you have to mix it into rice or serve it with some pasta.

I will officially go on record in your comments and say that I will personally Paypal anyone who posts a video of themselves eating an entire can of that stuff $25.00 USD.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

Like we need to know about that stuff makes me want to throw up...omg what is next..

Imagine what we don't know..

Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy Stahlnecker

We moved from Canada to Oklahoma way back when and stumbled upon this glorious product while perusing the local Piggly Wiggly. Of course it was promptly placed in our cart, purchased, and sent home to many of our Canadian friends. No one was brave enough to try it...

Our second favourite product was a canned whole chicken. Canned. Whole. Ugh.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJodie

Well, I THOUGHT I was over my stomach virus. Much obliged!

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterderfina

You can get canned pig brains in the grocery stores here in southern USA. And some resturants still serve it....with eggs. It is a breakfast item.

My husband absolutely loves it but I can't get past the idea.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

Pork brains in what? I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnja

I'll eat a little of just about anything, but that, that just crosses a line...at 90 miles an hour with no sign of stopping.

...Maybe low cholesterol brains.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDani

Surely someone with as many loyal minions as you can find a lacky to find you pork brains in a can. Call in the calvary!

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJill

Josh will eat anything, but even he draws the line at brain in milk.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKyla

I can't even think of a smart-ass comment. WOW. Ewwwie.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShelli

ECK!!!

Pork brains in milk gravy!! EW!!! People actually consumed this?!

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeli

...and I'm a VEGAN! Eeeeek! I can't believe that stuff is FDA approved. BARF! UGH.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaley-O

Well if my husband ever pisses me off (he has high blood pressure) I know how to off him without any suspicion. Seriously? 3500 MG Sodium??????

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKay

mmmm spam looks so good compared to that, and I hate spam I would rather starve.(but if it really came down to the two, spam would win ten fold).

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersuper mama

For proper meal planning see Hannibal Lector's preferred side dishes with gently fried brain.

With milk gravy: so gauche.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCharles

That is probably the worst food ever. Eww.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZandor

My favourite part about Spam was that you got to open it with a key. That was always fun.

Pork Brains in milk gravy -- ugh just reading the name makes me nauseous.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterboredmando

I like it was made by the Dial Corp. Guess this didn't sell well enough so now they make soap. I wonder what happened to all those uneaten pork brains...

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHockeyman

I totally threw up in my mouth.

And canned it.

I bet there's less cholesterol.

This is a clear cut case against the arguement that gravy makes everything taste better. Also, what the hell kind of cannibal puts pork brains on their grocery list?

that is so gross. repulsive. EW. honestly...as weird as this is...i never minded spam. there were worse things to me. like seafood.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSierra

That. Is. Nasty. Seriously? NOTHING could compel me to eat that.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

PS Angie's comment totally just made me spit water on my screen.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

If I had the same Mom as Lisa Lawrence up there at 5:08pm, I'd STILL be sitting at the table to this day.
Staring at the 30 yr old pig brains sitting on my plate.

Oh. My. God. Pork brains? In a can? You've got to be kidding!!! I wouldn't feed that to my cat!!!

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNancy in Atlanta

thats just so foul and so very hannibal lecter-esque. i feel like i need to see a photo of the type of person who eats this stuff willingly, they've got to be some sort of interesting.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen at The Cute Kid

Thats totally feral...imagine what it looks like when you open the can...*shudder*

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentershelly

That is disgusting! And I thought pigs feet were weird. And did you check out the cholesterol???? Well, serves you right (and by you, I don't mean YOU) that your arteries pay for the drastic decision to eat such a thing.

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

How about importing them some Brain's Faggots? That title is both confusing and disgusting. Taste beautiful though.

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSingleParentDad

Worryingly, the boy would probably think it's quite cool. Luckily I don't think a can will ever grace our cupboard shelves.

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVic

How could you eat that prepared that way?

I mean, the milk sauce will curdle the mint jelly.

No, you must first wash the milk sauce off, then use mint jelly as a dipping sauce.

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlarrylily

For photographs of the native environment the consumers of pork brains and the natives themselves see: http://www.drbukk.com/gmhom/park.html

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCharles

It's even in Milk Gravy! That makes it even better!!

Spam was never really that bad. It was the stories of my aunt fighting over the eyes in the cow head that always disturbed me.

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWickedStepMom

So I guess it didn't put the lotion on its skin...

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommentertifRN

Wow. I had just taken a sip of my coffee when I scrolled down. Seriously, warn a sister, will ya?!

But I do love the happy little cassarole in the picture.

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmo

Too many episodes of Knight Rider, or too many episodes of the Dukes of Hazzard?

(I made a vivid "gag face" when I saw that photo, ew, gross.)

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAssertagirl

I'm shocked that the label was not written in Spanish.
To quote my hawt Latina friend "We're Mexican, we eat EVERYTHING. Nothing goes to waste on an animal".

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaeve

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