Saying Goodbye

Today I'm burying my friend.

Well, okay. I'm not actually burying her. It's not like I'm going to take a shovel and start digging. Let's face it. I'm too lazy for that, no matter how much I loved Loreen.

But I will be there to say my final goodbyes to a well-respected and beloved friend. Who also happens to be a member of my family. She was my husband's aunt.

She was my friend.

I shall miss her.

So today I will put on my dress slacks and a pretty top and slap on a smile, no matter how sad I feel on the inside because Loreen's life deserved as many smiles as I can muster.

And when I walk into the same cemetery that my son currently rests in, I will not think about the sadness of the day or how I will never be able to laugh with my friend again or how the last time I stood on that hallowed ground I had wished for the world to end.

I will not think of past pain or future heart break.

I will not think of lives cut short.

Instead, I will look around and see all the love that surrounds me and take comfort in the knowing that my Bug has a new friend to play with and love him while he waits for us. For me.

I will find amazement in how life goes on and how a life well lived can bring comfort and joy to those left behind.

I will honor my friend with my smiles. And maybe a lame joke or two.

Because I know she will appreciate it.

I'll be back soon.