Take that, Canada

It's not Tanis. It's me.

That's right, Canada.  I've got her.  And I'm not giving her back.

Sure, America has it's war and it's bankruptcy, it's dueling banjos and it's ire.  But now we've got Tanis.

She's trapped in California and I'm not giving her back.

I'm not giving her back AND I'm taking her clothes.  I may not give those back either.

What? Not fair, you say? 

People, this is AMERICA.  We do as we please and this pleases me. 

Set her free, you say?  Sure.  All it will take is $700B.  That's it.  $700B.  See, we've got some problems here and the way I see it, kidnapping Tanis is our best shot at paying off what we owe. 

What?  She's not worth $700B? 

Then what IS she worth?  Make it good and maybe I'll send her back.  Maybe not.  Maybe with her clothes.  Maybe not.

America's got her now, people.  First we'll take over her blog, next, her entire life.

Because that's just how we roll.