about Attack of the Redneck Mommy
RNM HOME ARCHIVES BEST OF RNM PRESS CHARITIES
Looking for something specific? SEARCH RNM.  
back to Tanis Miller
Tuesday
May292007

Morning Joe

I love waking up to discover an endless blue sky and hear the chirping of birds singing from the trees.

I love watching my children wave to me as they board their school bus, on their way to educate their minds and discover their sense of self.

I love pouring a mug of piping hot coffee, heavy on cream, light on sugar, and stepping out onto our deck, with Nixon, The World's Greatest Dog, Ever. winding his way through my feet with excitement.

I love watching him sniff every blade of grass, every pebble, while I drink my coffee and talk to my husband for the first time in our day.

I love sitting, at peace, tranquil with my world on days like today.

And when the neighbour's Rottweiler decides to swim through the slough and come barreling at me like a shot out of the cannon, I love that.

I especially love when he clumsily races up the deck stairs and knocks me over with his slobbery kisses.

And when he shakes off all the gross, disgusting, disease-riddled water off his thick, shiny coat, straight into my wonderfully brewed cup of joe, I love that.

Even more, I love when all 120 pounds of him tries to crawl into my lap, pushing me off balance, while my tiny little dog jumps on my head, almost taking out my eye.

I love sitting on my sun-soaked deck, now marinated (both me and the dogs) with slough water and shivering while eyeballing the bright blue sky and listening to the damn birds who won't shut the fack up.

It doesn't get any better when the Rottweiler licks my ear and then starts lapping at my now cool cup of coffee. After all, if Nixon can taste it, so can he.

I didn't really want my coffee after all.

Sigh.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Meet the Rotty, Earlicker and Nose Picker, Extraordinaire.
« I Can't Be Right All The Time | Main | Epitaph »

Reader Comments (28)

Yay! I'm first!

Sounds like heaven... or something like it.

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterGunfighter

YUCK! Our dog used to swim in the slough all the time and for those of you who have never experienced a slough drenched dog, lemme tell ya, it is FOUL!

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterheather

Ah, dog loving. I love it when I hear that familiar lapping of canine tongue on canine puss and then see the aforementioned canine tongue going to "kiss" the face of my freshly bathed daughter. If I can't have that I'll settle for the height of canine self-sufficiency, the anal gland bursting via the berber carpet lab scoot.

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenteramanda

Yuck! But oh so funny!

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterslouching mom

That's my idea of heaven.

And? I WANT that dog. I want to squish his face and use him as a giant pillow. Sigh. Maybe I need a third dog. ;)

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Chicky

Cute Rottie! Sounds like my house everyday. I have two giant slobbering oomphs (read Great Danes) to deal with.

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterGreat Dane Addict

Ohhh!!! What a pretty baby!! (not to say the two humans in the pic aren't cute too) Reminds me of my rottie. THe giant doof that he was...

And really, what's a cup of coffee when you've got that kind of love coming your way. Nice trade off.

Then again, I have a Mastiff, and he can out drool teething babies.

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMamaMichelsBabies

You have the best life ever!

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterjasmine

oh yum Rott flavored coffee

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterflutter

I am clearly in the minority here but this story does not make me want a dog.

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

Alright, I would move right away. Although, I suspect you are much kinder woman than me.

I run like a scared chicken when I see the pitbull next door starts eyeballing me. I hope he doesnt smell the fear or the burgers I am making. Dear lord, please dont let the doggy have a Sammy snack anytime soon.

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

You gotta kind of love a rottweiler. Well uh maybe not this one but my roommate had one in college (we had a house of campus) and she was the sweetist thing.
Except she was kind of possesive about this one couch. She'd take up the whole thing and heaven forbid I try and move her big ass over. Or tell her she was a dog and the couch was for humans.

She uhh let me know my place.

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterWorker Mommy

Oh GROSS!! That is horrible! NOTHING must disturb the morning coffee ingestion!

But count yourself lucky - he could have also shaken strands of viscous saliva from his big happy mouth right into your open-in-horror-at-the-wet-dog-jumping mouth. That would have been double-gross.

Tomorrow will be better, right?

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterjellyhead

my parents have rotts and i love 'em. he's a pretty one too!

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterkimmyk

Anything that interferes with my coffee would irritate the SNOT out of me.

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterTiger Lamb Girl

What is a slough? I've never heard of it! :D

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSuburban Oblivion

Wow BIG dog! Don't want one LOL.

Cute kids though.

Go OILERS! :-) Hope next year is a better season!

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterjacquie

dude. i so want to come over for coffee.

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterjen

That's some good shit. Admit it. You secretly like it. ;)

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMo

I'd pee my pants if a Rottweiler did that to me.

May 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commentercarrie

Mmmmmmm. Rotti's.
They are black and tans and handsome alllll over!
Oh and they have square heads and brown eyes, which everyone knows is the PERFECT combination:)

May 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBBM

It bothers me not a little that your rotten morning made me laugh. So ...

... May a herd of cats rise up to greet said dog.
May a way of escape be at your back.
May the steam of undisturbed java warm your face
and hot buttered scones fall soft upon your fields.
And if dog and you should meet again
God help him.

May 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

I like Colleen's incantation. I also like how you went from Snow White to Kill Bill in about 20 seconds. I love that in a woman. MWAH.

May 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterstefanierj

I love it too.

Lovely pooch.

May 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commentercrazymumma

I'm thinking of that movie, Turner and Hooch.

May 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commentermamatulip

Hold on, did you just say that you get to have a conversation with your husband, in the morning, sans children? I have much to learn from you.

May 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAlly

You're such an optimist.

(snort!)

June 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

I just found your blog through the bloggies (and have been reading through your archives for the past 4 hours), and as a fellow Albertan (though now living in California), I'm trying to figure out whether your big city is Cowtown or E-town. The fact that in this picture one of your kids is wearing a Flames sweatshirt and one is wearing an Oilers jersey isn't helping--now I'm wondering if my guesses should be leaning towards Red Deer! ;)

January 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlida

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>