about Attack of the Redneck Mommy
RNM HOME ARCHIVES BEST OF RNM PRESS CHARITIES
Looking for something specific? SEARCH RNM.  
Twitter Facebook Google+ Instagram contact subscribe by email or RSS
press charities Attack of the Redneck Mommy



Search
Friday
May032013

Bingo!

I have to go pants shopping today. There are few things worse than having to go shopping for pants. In public. With mirrors. Bathing suit shopping. Getting a Brazilian wax. Trying to buy life insurance. Watching your child being held down for a blood draw. Trying to get fifteen kids to stand still to pose for a cousins' portrait.

Okay, fine. There are many things worse than pants shopping and yet, today, it is the worst. thing. ever. Don't start on me about getting some perspective. I have all the perspective I need. Starting with that pasty white muffin top that hangs over the edge of my pants and ending with the frayed bottoms of my jeans that my dog keeps tugging on. 

So pants shopping it is. Let the size games begin. It's like an expensive game of Bingo, only without the ink dobbers and the old lady winner will be me jumping around yelling 'Bingo!' when I finally find a pair that makes my bum look it belongs to a 20 year old stripper who can bounce a quarter off it.

It's good to have goals and delusions.

Here is to a new weekend where the wheels don't fall off any chairs, doors are held open when needed and the principal finally emails me before I die from curiosity. (My children? They're feigning innocence. I SMELL TROUBLE.)

May you find joy in the small snapshots of your life this weekend. And may your pants fit exactly as you want them to.

***

My little theatre geek. Congratulations to Ken and her fellow cast members (including my niece) for winning Best Ensemble Cast in the zones festival.

May there be no creepy eyeless doll, waiting to suck out your soul, hiding in any of your cabinets. Or your mother's.

Don't make eye contact with any shelves of doll heads because they'll be STARING BACK AT YOU. (Weirdness runs in the family.)

Brother love.

What happens with biology homework when assigned to a couple of nerds. Star Wars the Immune Response Episode is born. (Also, siblings! Cooperating! Voluntarily working towards a common goal! Learning! Embracing their inner geek! THIS IS THE POSTER OF PARENTHOOD DONE RIGHT.)

Putting our heads together. Puppy love is the best love.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Reader Comments (14)

I think all women dread pants shopping. I know I certainly do. Then again... I hate all shopping except online shopping.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBree Mobley

Pants. I hate pants.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTerra

Star Wars poster is brilliant.

Also, I declared myself a "no pants island" and didn't wear pants for an entire year. Only dresses, skirts and such (of course pj pants and yoga pants excluded.) I hate pants.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarta

Pants shopping is horrid - you have my sympathies! My husband, tired of my complaining about how awful and impossible it is to find pants that fit, took me jeans shopping a few years ago. We went to every single clothes store in the city, as the day wore on he shook his head in wonder. He wanted to buy me nice jeans, but we ended up at K-mart buying the same old stretchy jeans I've been getting for years. There's not a whole lot out there for really short people with big rears. :) I blame my mother for passing on those genes.

Congrats to your daughter! And that photo of your boys made me tear up - so very sweet!

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlyce

This is EXACTLY why I don't wear pants. Seriously. I'm not wearing pants right now as I type this.

It's freeing.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Newlin

You speak for all women, except those few tall, skinny ones that look good in everything! A Brazilian? Did you really?! Ouch!

May 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercarol anderson

this is about the last post, where people wouldn't help you. i have always heard that Canadians are exceptionally polite. So i was very surprised and sorry to hear that.

May 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentervictoria

oh the pants! what bothers me the most is one store makes you feel awesome but another makes you feel like you're dreaming and it's impossible.

May 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkyooty

When did Abbott grow larger than every human in your family?

May 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKat

I too have forsaken pants. Except jeans. Every time I need a swimsuit, I sadly recall 20 years ago, complaining my body wasn't perfect and my mother saying "Are you kidding? People would kill for that body!" and I was like, "yeah, whatever."
I WANT THAT BODY BACK. Why did I not appreciate you!! I AM SO SORRY!

May 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Amen, sister! For me it's not just pants shopping. It's shopping for clothes in general. *barf* You see something so CUTE on the hanger and think 'I'll be a knockout in that'! Then, of course you try it on and you go from knockout to knocked down. It's no wonder my closet is full of slimming colors like black and gray...

May 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi Eckl

I'm with Bree - I hate all clothes shopping and online has become the way to go for me. Being a midget my biggest issue is finding pants that fit my leg length; that or I have to factor in the time to get the trousers to the tailor for shortening. It's a sad state of affairs when I even have to have my gym trousers shortened.

It's taken time but I finally trust Hubby's opinion with clothes after he convinced me to try different colours and styles and they looked good. Mind you, that was 42 lbs ago!

I hate shopping period. No matter what for. I can't even stand online shopping. I love the brother love picture and the Star Wars: Immune Response - AWESOME!!!

May 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKrystal

Thank you for your comments i hope you will share the blog with others.

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterprice per head
Comments for this entry have been disabled. Additional comments may not be added to this entry at this time.
« Community | Main | Blogging Bravely »