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Friday
Mar222013

Most Especially Snotty

I didn't write here this week because I was dying.

Okay, not literally, but at moments I was certainly wondering if death would have been kinder. There are a lot of jokes made about man colds and how whiny men can be when they get sick and to be honest, I've never really understood them. (Even though I've been known to make them.) (The depth of my hypocrisy knows no bounds, really.)

The truth is, Bruce is rarely ill and when he does succumb to the latest virus or plague, he's terribly stoic about it. It's very annoying.

Mostly, because I am the least stoic person around when I'm snotty and congested.

I whine. Loudly and often. 

I don't do well sick. I do sick even less well when Knox is also home sick. Because you know what is worse about being knocked on your arse with the plague? It is having to take care of someone else who is more plagued than you.

It was the sick caring for the sick, which is worse than the blind leading the blind. Or so I'd assume.

There is no solace in whining to Knox as I feed his fever and starved his cold. Or vice versa. Whichever. Whining to Knox is useless. He can't hear me. And to be honest, that's probably a good thing. If suffering were a contest, he's always going to win.

If this week was a test on my inner strength and maturity levels, I'll admit it, I likely failed. So you know, it wasn't much different than most normal weeks. 

Zing.

Luckily, Knox and I are on the upswing, the snot is receding and fever has broken. My teenagers won't have to mutiny this ship after all. I'm sure they were each considering it at some point this week, as they listened to Knox and I trying to out whine one another.

I wish I were one of those stoic people like my husband who can be ill and do it with grace and dignity. But over the past 37 years I've learned that as much as I'd like to be refined and elegant, I can't manage it. Most especially when I'm ill. 

No. I'm always going to be the girl who is loud and brash and irritating. Most especially when I'm ill.

To you classy genteel folks, I salute you. I sincerely wish I could be more like you. Most especially when I'm shoving tissues up my nose to absorb my snot.

Have a good weekend everyone.

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Reader Comments (19)

The most poignant part of this entire post was the realization that I am 5 years older than you. Damn. You.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStefanie

Personally, I think you're doing it right.

Like Bruce, I tended to be exceedingly (and annoyingly, I'm sure) stoic about illness or injury. But that backfired on my ass worse than chili from a gas station.

See, if you can carry on through whatever pain and suffering you experience, when people quit trying to help. They don't offer to carry that basket of laundry, or take your turn at doing the dishes, when your fever could bake brownies. They just assume you can handle it because, well, you always do.

You're showing your kids that they need to pitch in when Mom is out of commission, and you're showing them that it's ok for you to be out of commission. That was an incredibly tough lesson for me to learn, but learn it I did. Of course, I learned it late enough that my best friend still gives me crap for having the Kellions bring me laundry to fold while I was on bed rest with H1N1 a few years ago. *cough* Shut up.

So whine away. Have Ken bring you tea, Nash make you some soup, Abbott lick the snot off your face, and Bruce can rub your back. But Knox? That kid just makes anyone feel better when he smiles. =)

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKel

I was afraid to come here and read this because I worried I might get covered in phlegm. But in the end it was worth it to learn that, 1) I'm not the only person who is a whiny baby when sick, and 2) I'm not the only person who puts Kleenex in her nose like that.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine Stone

As I type, I have a kleenex shoved up my lest nostril and it is SEXY. You there. RAWR.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSelena

Thank you for showing others how to deal with the drippy nose! My hubby and inlaws simply thought I was weird when I do that. (Yes, I've passed this gift down to my children as well.)

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

The new family member names have thrown me all off. Why re-name everyone? We've been with the family for years. Bruce? Why Bruce? Give him back his name. He is Boo. He has always been boo.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLong time reader

My husband (an epic man cold whiner) does the tissues up the nose thing. I can't stand it. I'd rather wipe my nose every half second.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh Ann

Oh hell no. My husband is a whiny ass baby when he's sick God bless him. I, however, am the pillar of fortitude, a strong representation of all things strong and feminine.
*dodges lightning* I mean, I'm a whiny ass too. And I've been that way for three days. I hear you. Hope you feel better soon.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer Leeland

Glad to hear you are feeling better!

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCharlotte

You know, the walrus picture is cute. I am stoic, always stoic. Husband, um, not so much, he's a pansy-ass. However, I have a strategic advantage. I'm nearly deaf in one ear. When I really reach my wits-end and need a break or need to sleep because I have worked myself into exhaustion. All I have to do is snuggle my "good" ear deeply into a pillow and a sleep like without any disturbances. So as a 35yo with hearing-aid, life is pretty good.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura in Little Rock

Girl. Being sick is not fun, I'm currently there myself.

Hope all of you get better soon.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThatJanieGirl

Well dang, now I have to stuff Kleenex up my nose to stop the coffee that exploded out of my nostrils when I got to your photo!!!!

March 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

Tanis, I had forgotten how much I enjoyed your writing! So true...being a woman can be a bitch sometimes :). Definitely going to share you with some of my friends this week.
Give Knox a hug.

March 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Williamson

Not to be a prying busybody here, but I was thinking about Knox and his hearing. I don't know what type of hearing loss he has, but would he benefit at all from a Cochlear Implant? I have one and it helps me tremendously. Does he wear hearing aids? I'm just curious being hearing impaired myself. I'm probably making a total ass of myself because I'm sure you've gone over all this with professionals, I was just wondering. :)

March 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I'm glad you're starting to feel better...and your lil man too. I was wondering why the family name changes too? What's up with that? Different Blog, different names?

March 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda B

I'm almost certain that their "new names" are, in fact, their real names.

March 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterOh Hey

Had you not hyperlinked it, I would have corrected you.

Tiger Beat.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

Your glasses look adorable on you.

lisa

April 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

...i'm confused...so are you dead?.....i mean, i don't care as long as the blog...continues....and it stops raining here in chicago, i mean i'm sympathies to your family and all, but they will carry on with a few positive affirmations and you might like it too, heck it could be a win-win...

just wanna keep the facts straight...and all....damn rain...

August 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKevin Kind

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